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Friday, 20 May 2011

Raja Lawak: Abang Sham dan gang agennya

Cerita lawak ini dicipta oleh kawanku Fu Haw, memang lawak dan bermakna, sebab tu saya terjemah cerita ini jadi BM, harap-harap ramai lagi boleh baca dan fahamkan cerita lawak ini:

Perbualan seorang menteri dengan gang agennya selepas Utusan melaporkan isu Negara Kristian:-

Abang Sham: Celaka, saya memang nak fxck korang gao gao!

Gang Agen: Kenapa? Boss!

Abang Sham: Saya suruh korang cari berita lain untuk menutup berita-berita yang berkaitan dengan kenaikan harga gula dan petrol, tapi korang......??!

Gang Agen: Betul! Bukankah kami dah gunakan isu Negara Kristian??

Abang Sham: Berani cakap tu lagi! Celaka, kan dunia ni banyak lagi mahluk lain, kenapa korang gunapakai orang yang bernama Jeff tu?

Gang Agen: Kenapa?? Bukan biasanya orang Cina yang bernama cam tu adalah beragama Kristian?

Abang Sham: Cam, cam! Kepala otak kau! Sekarang macam mana? Cari Kristian palsu dah memang bangang, korang berani lagi cari seorang Buddhist, siapa akan percaya???! Orang Buddhist nak negara Kristian? Mana otak korang??!

Gang Agen: Ta.....tapi, kami ikut arahan je.........kami hanya........

Abang Sham: Cakap lagi, cakap lagi! Jangan alasan banyak! Nanti dalam mesyuarat Jemaah Kerajaan, saya mesti cadangkan orang yang bukan beragama Kristian tidak boleh dinamakan nama Kristian!!!!!

Gang Agen: Boss, sekarang nak buat macam mane?

Abang Sham: Pukimak, ini pun nak saya bagitau, cepat suruh semua editor surat khabar aliran utama datang sini untuk mesyuarat!!! Cepat!!!

Gang Agen: Mesyuarat apa?

Abang Sham: Aiyo, bodohnya kau! Mesti la ajar dia orang nak macam mane laporkan berita ini, jangan timbulkan masalah lagi!! Cepat pergi cari orang buat berita palsu lagi......kalau tidak, macam mana aku nak jadi PM nanti!!

Gang Agen: Boss, orang Buddhist tu, dekatnya ada orang kita, nak suruh dia keluar untuk cakap dan buktikan ada orang sokong Negara Kristian tak?

Abang Sham: Betul? Cakap la awal-awal! Macam ni nak saya ajar lagi ke? Cepat la pergi buat!!

Gang Agen: Yes Boss! Kali ini mesti kami settlekan isu ini dengan cantik sekali!! Jangan risau!

(Berita hari esok: Di sebelah orang Buddhist Jeff tu terdapat seorang pembantu keluar dan cakap kat mesyuarat paderi kristian tu memang ada orang sokong dan minta negara Kristian, tatapi......pembantu itu adalah seorang Muslim dan bekas ahli UMNO......)

(Abang Sham selepas membaca berita ini.....)

Abang Sham: Celaka, mati lah aku......

(Bi bo bi bo, ambulans datang......yang dapat dinampak hanya Abang Sham diangkat keluar oleh sekumpulan jururawat....)

*Versi Bahasa Cina sila tekan sini.

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