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Friday, 20 May 2011

Raja Lawak: Abang Sham dan gang agennya

Cerita lawak ini dicipta oleh kawanku Fu Haw, memang lawak dan bermakna, sebab tu saya terjemah cerita ini jadi BM, harap-harap ramai lagi boleh baca dan fahamkan cerita lawak ini:

Perbualan seorang menteri dengan gang agennya selepas Utusan melaporkan isu Negara Kristian:-

Abang Sham: Celaka, saya memang nak fxck korang gao gao!

Gang Agen: Kenapa? Boss!

Abang Sham: Saya suruh korang cari berita lain untuk menutup berita-berita yang berkaitan dengan kenaikan harga gula dan petrol, tapi korang......??!

Gang Agen: Betul! Bukankah kami dah gunakan isu Negara Kristian??

Abang Sham: Berani cakap tu lagi! Celaka, kan dunia ni banyak lagi mahluk lain, kenapa korang gunapakai orang yang bernama Jeff tu?

Gang Agen: Kenapa?? Bukan biasanya orang Cina yang bernama cam tu adalah beragama Kristian?

Abang Sham: Cam, cam! Kepala otak kau! Sekarang macam mana? Cari Kristian palsu dah memang bangang, korang berani lagi cari seorang Buddhist, siapa akan percaya???! Orang Buddhist nak negara Kristian? Mana otak korang??!

Gang Agen: Ta.....tapi, kami ikut arahan je.........kami hanya........

Abang Sham: Cakap lagi, cakap lagi! Jangan alasan banyak! Nanti dalam mesyuarat Jemaah Kerajaan, saya mesti cadangkan orang yang bukan beragama Kristian tidak boleh dinamakan nama Kristian!!!!!

Gang Agen: Boss, sekarang nak buat macam mane?

Abang Sham: Pukimak, ini pun nak saya bagitau, cepat suruh semua editor surat khabar aliran utama datang sini untuk mesyuarat!!! Cepat!!!

Gang Agen: Mesyuarat apa?

Abang Sham: Aiyo, bodohnya kau! Mesti la ajar dia orang nak macam mane laporkan berita ini, jangan timbulkan masalah lagi!! Cepat pergi cari orang buat berita palsu lagi......kalau tidak, macam mana aku nak jadi PM nanti!!

Gang Agen: Boss, orang Buddhist tu, dekatnya ada orang kita, nak suruh dia keluar untuk cakap dan buktikan ada orang sokong Negara Kristian tak?

Abang Sham: Betul? Cakap la awal-awal! Macam ni nak saya ajar lagi ke? Cepat la pergi buat!!

Gang Agen: Yes Boss! Kali ini mesti kami settlekan isu ini dengan cantik sekali!! Jangan risau!

(Berita hari esok: Di sebelah orang Buddhist Jeff tu terdapat seorang pembantu keluar dan cakap kat mesyuarat paderi kristian tu memang ada orang sokong dan minta negara Kristian, tatapi......pembantu itu adalah seorang Muslim dan bekas ahli UMNO......)

(Abang Sham selepas membaca berita ini.....)

Abang Sham: Celaka, mati lah aku......

(Bi bo bi bo, ambulans datang......yang dapat dinampak hanya Abang Sham diangkat keluar oleh sekumpulan jururawat....)

*Versi Bahasa Cina sila tekan sini.

210 评论 Comments:

«Oldest   ‹Older   1 – 200 of 210   Newer›   Newest»
幸運な男 said...

Wakakaka! Tetapi hambe yakin, orang UMNO tak selucu macam ditulikan!

Anonymous said...

i dont understand what kinda jokes are you talking about? for me,you are too young to dicusss about politics.. and i dont understand your BM..

~aNG~伟翔 said...

Maybe you should go back to school and learn your BM.

Anonymous said...

up up stair, you think you are funny aaaahhh

kc said...

You should write more malay articles. Like it or not, this is the most widely used language in Malaysia, and your articles would influence more people.

~aNG~伟翔 said...

Sorry just came back from Court. Kc, i wish i could write more, but my Malay is not that fantastic, especially it was long abandoned after SPM. I'm just trying my best.

Anonymous said...

Majoriti rakyat Malaysia gagal memahami konsep dan hakikat Perlembagaan Persekutuan sebagai undang-undang tertinggi di negara kita.Pindaan terhadap Perlembagaan Persekutuan bukanlah boleh dilaksanakan sewenang-wenangnya apatah lagi membabitkan Islam sebagai agama Persekutuan.Malang sekali, juak-juak UMNO-BN terus mengeksploitasi isu 'Kristian-agama rasmi' khususnya untuk menakut-nakutkan orang Melayu seolah-olahnya agama rasmi boleh diubah sebegitu mudah sebaik sahaja Pakatan Rakyat memerintah.Inilah cabaran kita untuk menyedarkan rakyat agar mereka tidak terus diperbodohkan. -abrar-

~aNG~伟翔 said...

Betul sekali Abrar! Apa yang dia orang buat hanya nak takutkan masyarakat kita, teruk lagi dia orang tak kira apa akan terjadi kepada masyarakat kita selepas perbuatan mereka yang busuk dan kotor itu!!!!!

Anonymous said...

abrar,you are bias... u should evaluate both party equally...not judging on side and simply say memperbodohkan all that. kita sudah berada di landasan yang paling selesa dan saya berani jamin ramai dikalangan kita yang ibubapanya berkhidmat dengan kerjaan yang wujud sekarang ini. apa bentuk perubahan lagi yang mahu di tuntut? celikkan mata kamu...sokonglah dengan hati yang ikhlas dan jangan menyebabkan orang luar menganggap negara kita tidak selamat ekoran sistem politik ini..- 1.07pm Dublin, May 23_

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"kita sudah berada di landasan yang paling selesa", paling selesa? Dengan berbilion-billion telah dimakan oleh kroni-kroni? Dengan kadar inflasi yang semakin tinggi disebabkan rasuah yang merata-rata? Yang paling selesa itu hanya dirujuk kepada warga UMNO/MCA/MIC/Gerakan dll yang memakan bejuta-juta duit rakyat.

Anonymous said...

Agak kelakar kenyataan yang dibuat oleh Dublin (atau dari Dublin?) yang mengulas tentang komen saya.Saya tidak pun berbicara tentang soal perubahan.Saya juga tidak bercakap tentang 'keselesaan' kerana dapat berkhidmat sebagai kakitangan kerajaan.Sebaliknya,saya bercakap tentang salahfaham rakyat tentang Perlembagaan Persekutuan dan konsep pindaannya.Saya sarankan rakyat Malaysia memahami terlebih dahulu apa yang dimaksudkan dengan Perlembagaan Persekutuan.Bila sudah betul-betul faham tentang konsep Perlembagaan Persekutuan, nescaya mereka tidak mudah diperbodohkan.Sukar sangatkah memahami isi yang saya cuba sampaikan....adeiiii...-abrar-

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